Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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