Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
