He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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