Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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