As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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