Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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