I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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