He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
