spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
