I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
