Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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