At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize