Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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