I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
