I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
