I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
