Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm always down for nudity.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
