That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
