yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I am spending my child support on dildos
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize