Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
