Don't you send me to vm
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize