I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
