No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
