I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize