How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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