Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
