i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
