You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
