Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
