New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
