he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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