So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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