my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
