You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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