have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize