UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
