Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
