I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
