there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize