For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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