How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When are your genitals available?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
