your room smells of hookers.
And success
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
