DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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