Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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