Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
