Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
