What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
