Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
