I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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