Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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