I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
