scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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