He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish you could order shots online.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize