Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize