I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
