oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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