You really coming over, don't trick.
"it" just moved
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
