Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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