if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
