The maid of honor just puked.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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